Dwelling Between Peaks and Valleys

The valley I dwell in in the Columbia River Gorge in the summers.

I have been feeling really down these past few weeks. Is it the anticipation of newness and yet all is the same? Physical pain that is there despite efforts to relieve it? Disconnection from self? Overwhelm at all of life’s offerings good and bad? The current unexplainable harm present in our country? The increase in the price of living a modern life? The mind wants to know! No matter the reason, it is there, a heavy, dull, feeling of lack, that drags behind me as I move through the tasks, connections, and purpose of the day. I crave that feeling of ease in body and mind, lightness, freedom from over doing, totally put together and on top of things, with the spaciousness for laughter and joy. Don’t get me wrong, the joy and pleasures of life are still there, and at the same time, that heavy weight drags along. The heaviness isn’t always there, but today it is. 

Jivamukti Yoga’s Focus of the Month for January is entitled Dwelling Between Peaks and Valleys. In this moment that title rings so true! What do we do when life is missing its sparkle. How do we live nourished even here, deep in the valley? 

Traditionally, crops are grown in valleys, this is were the soil is most fertile. The seemingly insurmountable challenges, the feeling of being held down, of being clouded in my perception, may be a message to slow down, to pull some weeds, plant some seeds, smell some flowers. Efficiency is valuable to me, as is living my life full of purpose (I see my purpose as creating and recognizing beauty in the world). Therefore I tend to move quickly through life (maybe you can relate!), hopefully with grace and clear vision. And yet, sadness is beautiful too, maybe even more so. It is a time of lingering a little longer, of self reflection, a time to care for this gem of a self.

This all reminds me of a creation story in the lineage of Kaśmīr Śaivism. In the story, before time, before the universe as we know it, there was only Śiva - whom has the qualities of joy, bliss, conscious, oneness. Śiva in contemplating creating the universe, and splitting himself from the one into the infinite combinations and unique manifestations of all the worlds, creatures, plants, and humans, hesitates. He hesitates, because he knows he will forget his true nature - which is joy, consciousness, bliss - when he is fragmented into the many. And yet he does it anyway ,because he knows that his true nature will never be lost. And all of the many will still be complete and whole. Everything is divine! 

This is why we practice yoga. To remember our true nature - joy, bliss consciousness, Saccidānanda. After 20+ years of yoga, meditation, and attunement to the subtler realms, I know this to be true even if I don’t feel it all the time. At first, I remember feeling so stuck in the mood of the moment. When feeling down I couldn’t imagine ever feeling joyous again. I looped in the harmful stories of the mind, of self doubt and criticism. Now, after many years of yoga practice and āyurvedic study, those challenging feelings still show up from time to time, I see them, those challenging thoughts and feelings. I don’t love it, but I know this will change. I know it is temporary, I allow the little glimmers of joy in when they appear, I move a little slower, I meditate a little more, I pause and observe. Having been here many times before, I know that tears and laughter are closer than I once thought, maybe even moments apart.

I invite you to wake in the quiet hours of morning and dwell in the silence, when the clutter of the mind may be a little less, there may be some wisdom here.  Take in the morning light, walk in the forest, in the rain or snow, the wind, let the tears flow, scream under water or simply be held by mother ocean or submerged in a warm bath. And above all, be gentle with yourself as you move through the day. 

One of my favorite practices for these challenging times is called Mantra Puruṣa using the bīja mantra Oṃ Gaṃ. Oṃ is the sound representation of our true nature. Gaṃ is the seed sound of Gaṇeśa, in Hindu mythology, the son of Śiva and Pārvatī, the protector of all of creation, embodying the qualities of newness, wisdom, and the abilities to align with the rhythm of your true nature and to shift perspective so obstacles may seemingly just fall away.

It is in the valleys that we grow and that we remember our true nature. May you gracefully pulse with the ebb and flow that is the heartbeat of creation. Live Nourished!

Practice with me:

Below is a guided mantra puruṣa practice where you will place your awareness and sound vibration of Oṃ Gaṃ into your being by systematically rotating thru points of the body. Give it a try! I would love to hear about your experience.

Join me ONLINE or in person in Maui for a 40 day Mantra Meditation Course: Expanding into Fullness. Starts February 15th. Sign up here!

Journal Prompts

What is alive in me right now?

What wisdom does this hold for me?

How can I nourish myself in this moment?